Lamar-
Your stories here remind me of a joke Dad would tell about a lonely old man that would invite passers-by into his cabin and then hold them at gunpoint until they had a drink with him (insert akvavit, krupnik, or whatever rot-gut you want). After they successfully downed a shot, he would take the bottle to his side and slide the gun over to them and would say, "it wouldn't be polite of me if I didn't have one with you."